By the end of a pregnancy, that little bundle of love isn’t the only thing a new mom look is looking forward to. Getting back into her pre-pregnancy clothes is often high on the list as well. But many new moms find that getting back in shape is not as easy as they thought. The new demands on their lives and their bodies often get in the way, leaving moms feeling frustrated, guilty and unhappy.

Liz Bleers, of Plainfield, Ill., knows that feeling. In December, Bleers gave birth to her only son, Jack. She gained 40 pounds with the pregnancy. While she has lost the majority of what she gained and looks great, she isn’t back to where she was and that bothers her. Bleers lost 25 pounds almost immediately. Four months later, she still carries an extra 15 pounds and she blames herself.

“Before I was pregnant, I was working out three times a week,” says Bleers, “I did Yoga, weightlifting and strength training. Getting back to that is hard. I just don’t have the time now. I don’t have the energy. I get so frustrated with myself, I feel like I should be doing more.”

“Bodies don’t just bounce right back after having a baby,” says Vianesa Vargas, creator of the Take Care Project, an online resource for moms looking for balance in their lives. She says that moms have unrealistic expectations that come largely from the media.

“We see it all of the time. It is in the headlines at the checkout counters ... ‘How I got my body back after pregnancy’ ... celebrities who just had babies telling how they lost the weight in weeks. I read them and laugh. They are not telling the whole story,” says Vargas, who spent 10 years as a personal trainer and is now an officer in the Air Force. “Catherine Zeta-Jones ... Elle McPherson ... women back on the red carpet a month after having a baby looking extremely trim and slim. Women see that and think that is normal. But it is not.”

“Celebrities have to get right back in shape,” says Vargas. “It is their job. And, because it is their job and they have the means – personal trainers, nutritionists, chefs, nannies, etc. – they are in better shape to do so.”

Setting such unrealistic goals can be detrimental and often leads to frustration and failure. “It took nine months to gain the weight,” says Vargas, who has a four-year-old and another on the way. “Give yourself at least that much time to get rid of it.”

So what are real moms to do?

Relax. Enjoy your baby and give your body a chance to heal. Other than eating healthy, you should do very little to lose weight before your six-week postpartum check-up. At that time, talk to your doctor about your weight concerns. Even with your physician’s ok – take it slow.

Know how much you want to lose and why you want to lose it. Vargas says that knowing why you are working to lose the baby weight can help to keep you motivated. “A celebrity mom might be trying to lose the weight for a role in a movie or to walk down the red carpet. The average mom might be trying to lose it because they are going on vacation or for an event. Be honest about why you want to lose, the timeframe and if your expectations are realistic. If they are not realistic, reset your goals,” says Vargas, who adds that in the beginning, one to two pounds is what you should aim for.

Being realistic means accepting that you are not the same as your were. Having a baby is a life-changing experience – expect changes. Your schedule won’t be the same as it was before the baby, nor will your sleep or energy level. Accept these changes and work with them.

“And, when starting to work out again, understand that your body may not be as limber as it once was,” says Vargas. “You may not be able to go back to doing what you were right away.”

Forget dieting – especially if you are breastfeeding. Instead, opt for creating a healthy lifestyle for you and your entire family. Find healthy alternatives to your favorite recipes. Keep healthy snacks and treats on hand. And whatever you do – don’t skip a meal, especially breakfast.

Take baby steps. “Walk … walk ... walk,” says Lisa Behounek, personal trainer and the Health and Wellness Director for the C.W. Avery Family YMCA in Plainfield, Ill. “Walking is a great low-impact cardiovascular workout and is good for all fitness levels.” Behounek says to start out slow, just a walk around the block with your baby. “Even a ten-minute walk can make you feel great and you can always add on five or ten minutes the next day. Those who start out small and build on it tend to do much better than those who try and throw themselves right back into a rigorous exercise routine.”

To check out the Take Care Project, go to www.takecareproject.com.

A Must-Have Infant Pacifier

The days of pacifiers that keep falling out of your baby’s mouth are over. Introducing the WubbaNub™, a unique new baby product designed to keep the pacifier in place while comforting your infant at the same time. With no clips or cords, the “hospital grade” pacifiers are attached to a plush animal that your baby can hold onto. The Soothie-brand pacifier is made of latex-free silicone and is intended for babies from full-term up to six months. According to the manufacturer, Trebco Specialty Products, the WubbaNub™ got its start within hospital birth and NICU units and can aid in the development of hand-eye coordination. There are several different designs and vibrant colors to choose from, including a red dog, green frog, yellow duck, and a pink horse. Surface wash and air dry. The WubbaNub™ can be ordered (for $9.95 each) online at www.mom4life.com or www.soothiepacifier.com, or by calling Trebco Specialty Products at (203) 799-7633.