Many moms spend their days nurturing their children and the rest on their spouses, friends, jobs and homes. By the time the day ends, they fall into bed too tired to realize that they never made it to themselves. These women often equate self-care with selfish, says Debra Gilbert Rosenberg, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Oak Park. She says a mistake that could lead to isolation, loss of identity and even depression. Moms need to nurture themselves – physically, mentally and spiritually - with the same vigor they use to nurture others.

Nurturing the body

● Know yourself inside and out - Regular check-ups, a pap smear every 1-3 years depending on risk factors and breast exams (in and out of the office) should be non-negotiable items on your list, says Dr. Joan Covault, of Provena Medical Group in New Lenox. Knowing your body will help you detect changes early and with some diseases, early detection could add years to your life.
● Got Milk? - According to the National Osteoporosis Foundation, in 2002 there were an estimated 10 million people with Osteoporosis, 80 percent women. Covault says that women are just not getting enough calcium. “You should be getting 5 servings of calcium every day. It doesn’t have to be milk. It can be yogurt, cheese or even calcium supplements.”
● Working out doesn’t have to seem like work – If you don’t have time for a full work out, improvise, says Lisa Behownek, Health and Wellness Director of the C.W. Avery Family YMCA. Behownek says you should be getting 30 to 60 minutes a day but it doesn’t have to come from traditional exercise nor does it have to be done all at once. “It is ok to split your work out up. Do Jumping Jacks on commercials, sit ups while waiting for the laundry, or just throw in your favorite CD and dance. It is a work out the kids can do it with you.”

Nurturing the Mind

● Feeding your mind is as important as feeding your body – learn something new, read a good book or take up a hobby. Don’t think you have the time? “Be are creative,” says
Rosenberg. “If you like to read novels but don’t have time to read one – buy a book of short stories that you can get through in ten minutes or less.”
● Think friends – your friends don’t have to be intellectuals to get you thinking, just have like interests. There are groups out there for every interest – books, gardening, scrapbooking, etc. Have little ones and no sitter? Look for Mom groups like Mothers & More or MOPS (Mothers of preschoolers) where you will be surrounded by other moms and an occasional toddler who was having separation anxiety that day. The MOPS group in Joliet meets once a month, moms in one room sharing war stories over breakfast while the kids play together in another. Check the Internet for national groups that can direct you to their local chapters or watch your newspaper for listings. If you can’t find the group for you – start your own.
● The TV is not evil - It is Ok to shut off your mind sometime and just “veg.” Have some favorite movies around for those times when you are overwhelmed or sad.

Nurturing the Spirit

Don’t let motherhood eclipse your “self,” says Rosenberg. “Love your children but maintain separateness.” To do this, Rosenberg says you have to know who you are. She suggests spending some time reflecting on this, even five minutes alone and in the quiet will do. There you will identify your interests which will lead you to your passions which in turn will lead you to purpose. Those who find their purpose will ultimately find their happiness.
● Color your world – you can evoke a state of mind through atmosphere but to do so you have to look beyond color swatches, you have to look with in, says Christine Baumbach, an Oak Park Interior Designer. “For a place to provide comfort and be restorative, pick a color that has a personal association with it. Does that green give you a cozy feeling because it reminds you of your Grandmother’s couch where she once read to you?”
● Create space where there once was none – You don’t need a whole room to have some personal space – any corner will do. Make sure there is a comfortable chair, the right lighting and a basket filled with your favorite books, music, pictures, or stationary. Tell your husband and children that when you are in your space, they are on their own.

Take care!

• Allow yourself some private time each day, even if it is only for 30 minutes.
• Take a long walk.
• Buy a bouquet of flowers for yourself.
• Spend a day at your favorite coffee shop or bookstore.
• Start a daily journal to express your thoughts and feelings.